Requests, Requests, Requests...

Requests are really starting to get on my nerve. Just as I start to enjoy my set, someone decides to come along and ruin it by making a stupid request. I don't mind the requests that are appropriate, but not requests like "can you play something more powerful?", "can you play Ministry of Sound type of music?", "can you play music from Nova FM?", "can you play RnB?", "can you play more upbeat stuff?", "can you play my demo CD?", "can you play my CD if I bring it from my car?" or even "can you scratch?". What the?

I can't remember the last time I got an appropriate request. I guess since not a lot of people listen to real house music I shouldn't expect anything better than cheesy-house requests.

Recently I was offered $20 to play something "more powerful". I asked him to go ahead and find something more powerful in my crate, and that if he did I'd play it. He said "Oh... OK" and put the $20 back in his pocket. Some of my other responses have been "See these records [pointing to my crates]? They're heavy. So I obviously can't bring in all the music in the world", or "Sorry I'm going to lose my job if I play anything other than what I'm playing now", or "OK I'll see if I have that track, and if I do I'll play it", or "I wasn't told there was going to be a function today, so I didn't bring in any commercial music", and my personal favourite "Sorry RnB is on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Today is reserved for real house music".

Sometimes I act busy when I see someone walking towards me and most of the time they get fed up of waiting and leave. At other times I try and cover the entrance into the DJ booth with my record trolley, which cuts down a few requests as they can't get close enough to ask the question. Come to think of it, Republika would have been good for a regular gig -- their DJ booth is elevated and people can't talk to the DJ!

I've also noticed that when people come in groups, they send the best looking girl to make the request, probably thinking they have a better chance of getting me to play their track. Little do they know that I'm one step ahead, and that I'm going to be 30% ruder than usual.
Hmm....I think it's time I got one of those shirts with "I don't do requests" (or similar) printed on them.